Sunday, 29 September 2013

Stripey Strongwoman

Jacket: Anthro, Blouse: Holly & Whyte, Jeans: Old Navy, Shoes: Clark's, Sunnies: Anthro
Now that I'm back in London, and enjoying a bit of throwback summer sun, all that time spent in Norway seems like a faraway nightmare. For instance, our set had an old 80's TV, a (smallish) refrigerator and a toaster that we used as part of the show. And the toaster aside, these things were heavy, I mean the TV-remote alone... you could take down a burglar with that remote! And what with the two boys having to leave town on the Sunday night, and none of my friends being able to help me... guess who carted off the whole set on her lonesome? Yup. 

 Now, I may not look it, but I am kind of butch for a girl. I mean, I can fell trees, man! I am also a tad broke, so ordering a removals service was out... which is how I ended up borrowing a hand-trolley from a local electrics store, who kindly agreed to take my electrical items for me. They also gave me some rope. So there I was, tying the hollowed-out TV to the trolley and shoving the toaster inside it - I'd opened it up earlier to lift out all the heavy TV innards, since we were storing the thing in the attic of the performance venue in between shows. You should have seen me, pushing this thing down the cobblestoned streets like some oversized techo-baby! 

The last show I did, I wound up making costumes for ten people - and recruiting my poor mother to help me. We worked so hard that my sewing machine broke in six different places, and the repairman solemnly declared, "You killed it." And then I vowed not to do a costume-heavy show next time. This time, I was all, "Yay, it's contemporary, we can just wear our own clothes!" ...Only for the props and set to turn out to be the killer. I mean, it's like I can't win! So for my next show... maybe we could do it without a set, any props OR any costumes, and just pretend we're being terribly modern? 

I am joking. Mostly. 

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Keeping it short...

Sweater: Holly & Whyte, Shorts: Old Anthro, Necklace: A gift, Boots: Anthro
One of my more annoying character flaws is my love for bad puns. As you can see from the post title. Sorry, if I see a pun just hanging in the air and waiting to be made, I just cannot help myself. 
It's been forever and a day since I posted anything, so here's an outfit I wore while I was still in Norway. I found these old shorts in a drawer and decided it was time to try and make friends with them. What do you think? Can I wear these, or should I just not? 

Also, check it out - thanks to some weird photographic illusion, I suddenly have a white forelock. Just like Rogue in the X-Men movies! Now I just need to dress Victor up in a Gambit outfit and start calling him "sugah"! 
Regular brain-activity will resume very soon, but for now, this is the best I can do. As in, reveal that I know way too much about the X-Men franchise, and worry about whether my thighs look too thunderous in sparkly shorts.  

Friday, 20 September 2013

And... action!

To cough up my favourite quote from Team America: "Watch out! She's going to act!"
I was so touched earlier, when a whole bunch of you said you'd totally come see my play if you lived in the same hemisphere as me, and then I thought, maybe I can do the next_best thing! So here are some photos from the first scene I'm in.

Here Warren, the main character, is showing off his collection of memorabilia to my character, Jessica. Jessica loves his Major Matt Mason toys, they remind her of the toys her cousins wouldn't let her borrow when she was little. She's not quite so impressed with his antique toaster, which Warren loves so much that he's given it a name. Toaster Amazing. Nerd, much?

They talk about all sorts of stuff, then Warren puts on a record, and they dance. Suddenly Warren asks, "Would you be terribly offended if I kissed you for a few seconds?" Flustered, Jessica replies, "Well no, but like, what's the rush?"
But this kiss has been in the cards all night, and they both know it. And sure enough...

...there will be smooching. Now, before you get too shocked, what with me being a married woman and all, let me assure you that the kissing is all fake. We sort of mash our open mouths together and make grunty noises. It's pretty convincing in person. The other actor in the group got so uncomfortable during one rehearsal that when we came up for air, we found him behind a pillar, covering his face and whimpering. We literally acted him into submission! Also, Victor has watched it, and he finds the whole think kind of funny. So there you go!

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Short Skirt, Long Jacket

Jacket: Vero Moda, Skirt: Anthro, Boots: Hunter, Bag: From Norway
 So pardon me for going all Matryoshka doll on you here, but I thought I might as well take pictures of all the layers I was wearing. Because layering season is upon us, over here in the UK. And yes, my post title is a song reference. I happen to really like the band Cake, and I only discovered them because Victor was playing Short Skirt, Long Jacket one time back when we were dating. Since then, I've listened to that band so much, and dragged him to one of their concerts, so now he hates them. Ah, marriage. 

So this outfit is what I wore on Saturday, when Victor and I went into town to look for a shoe-rack. Our old  fabric one was kind of hanging to one side, and one of the things we discovered that day at the deparment store was that it had never been intended to be used as a shoe-rack in the first place. No, it was a foldable towel shelf to use in the bathroom. Left behind for us by the previous tenant, who also left a crystal heart bauble tied to the toilet light cord and was astonished that we didn't want to keep her ancient, enormous microwave. Or her TV. We're like weird hippie people who cook our own food and read books. 

Victor also showed his undying love for me by buying me a new, super fancy electrical toothbrush. Which is actually a big deal to me, because I am seriously paranoid about cleaning my teeth. And while I was in Norway, I was making do with a freebie hotel toothbrush since my old electrical friend had just died... so after weeks of that, getting this new toothbrush, with settings, and three removable heads and a blinking red light, well it was just like getting Harry Potter's wand to brush my teeth with! Totally magical! 

Our Saturday afternoon was spent assembling the new shoe-rack on the living-room floor, it was like Kinder Eggs for adults. It was so easy that it made us instantly suspicious - the last thing we assembled were a dining set that were so complex and evil to build that I was forced to burn the instructions after we were done, on general principle. But no, the shoe-rack hasn't collapsed yet. It stands there, like a glowing beacon of civilization to two people who used to keep their shoes on a collapsible fabric towel rack. 

We're savages. Savages and hippies. 

Friday, 13 September 2013

Grey Skies, Green Legs

Sweater: J.Crew via ebay. Jeans: AG Stevies, old. Shoes: Pilcro.

Okay, so I look slightly less like a zombie today than I did on Tuesday. This is what we call progress! But in all seriousness, I've managed to rest up, and almost feel like I'm back to normal again! Finally being able to wear my new favourite sweater helps... That also helps with making the whole sudden freezing autumn thing we've got going on here slightly more bearable. Oh summer, you left us too soon! 

How I coveted this sweater, for months and months! You have no idea. I found it on ebay, and kept stalking it there for ever and ever. Finally, I decided the time was right, and bought one. It arrived right smack bang in the middle of the scorching summer, so it had to spend some time waiting for me in our storage unit until I got back from Norway. Damn, but I love this sweater! I mean, it's insane, but in a fantastic way, right?

On another note, Victor and I are going go-carting for Second Wife's birthday tonight. (No, she's not literally married to us, she's just a good friend. But it's a cool nickname, right?) I will not be wearing this getup then, I can promise you that! To tell the truth I'm kind of scared... I mean, I don't have a license and I'm terrified of driving a car, and we're apparently supposed to compete in some sort of race?! 

If I die, remember me fondly. And I promise to leave my pink jeans to Jenni. 

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Balcony or Nothing.

Shirt & belt: UniQlo, Dress & boots: Anthro, Tights: American Apparel. 

I'm sorry about how I look half dead in these pictures. I feel half dead! Now that I can have a few days back in London to recover from a month of almost no rest whatsoever, the air's gone out of the balloon a bit! And I suddenly find myself agreeing with those bloggers who want to wear clothes that look cute but are as comfy as pyjamas. I mean, I ended up digging this sweaterdress out of storage and changing out of my jeans because they were just too much work to walk around in. I was also too tired to go out into the concrete jungle to snap photos. It was the balcony, or nothing. 

A total stranger stopped me on the street to compliment me on the dress, so I must be doing something right, eh? The shirt is new, by the way - it's one of my little rewards for surviving the past month. I'd been wanting that shirt forever, and I'm really happy with it, and how it goes with this dress. I can't really spend that much on clothes right now, but that only makes it extra special. My other reward is a pair of bunny salt and pepper shakers. I was all, "Honey, we have more rabbits in the family," and Victor just looked at them and went, "Huh." Then he declared he was naming them Salt and Pepper, after the 90's rap group. Which is surprisingly original, no?

Also, I have a public service announcement for you:

Don't buy Pilcro cords. Because they will not even last six months until they start to pill and loose all their soft cordiness, and turn into horrible balding nastypants. At least these were from the sale rack, I would have been furious if I'd paid full price! I found a cheap but sturdy replacement pair in Norway, so these are going on their merry way. It's a shame, because Pilcro makes great shoes and nice tops, but this is my first and last time buying any trousers from them. 

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Some times, good things do happen!

Rehearsal photo by Polina S. Bakh.

You guys, you won't believe this, but we're doing the last two shows! On Saturday, we had an audience of over twenty, and on Sunday, we played to twelve people. Booking an audience in advance definitely got us some bums on seats, but still not enough to convince the guys - or so I thought.

But on Sunday night, after what would have been our last show, I found out that one of them never wanted to cancel in the first place, and the other then changed his mind and said he wanted to do the last shows after all. I slept on it and did some serious thinking the next morning... and decided to go for it.

So we have a show! We get to do this awesome play two whole more times! There's a lot of work left to do, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried... but I'm also very happy. Because of the venue being overbooked, we have two weeks to hustle up some audience members, and force them to buy their tickets early. And if all else fails, maybe my friend who's a store manager can lend us some shop dummies?

Rehearsal photo by Polina S. Bakh.

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Almost Famous!

You might have exactly three questions running through your head right now. 
1. Is that a theatre review?
2. How the heck can she sit like that with her legs bent all weird?
3. What does that headline say, anyway?

To answer your first (supposed) question first... 
1: It's not a theatre review, it's a special feature one of the two city newspapers did on our play before we opened. Very helpfully, it did not include the list of performance dates. 
2: I'm doublejointed. Which is actually a lot less fun than it sounds, although it does lend itself to some pretty neat party tricks. But since my character is having this moment of... childish remeniscence and bonding with the boy she likes over some antique astronaut toys, I decided it'd be good if I sat in kind of a childish way. Also, it's super comfortable for me to sit like that. No, really! 
3. The headline is a big pack of lies. It says, "Translated for Three Weeks" and implies that I'm some sort of genius who translated the entire play from English to Norwegian in three weeks. As my character would say, "Uh, no." It took longer than that. Quite a bit longer. But you know, it makes me look like a little genius, so I guess I don't mind that much. 

And here's an unofficial fourth answer to an unasked question: How am I doing? Well, hanging on by a thread, sort of. I've presold some tickets, but not nearly enough to help me sleep well at night. I've also got a few promises to turn up, but promises mean nothing until the person is standing there and buying a ticket, along with every member of their family who isn't currently in hospital. Right?

All joking aside, there really isn't that much left of me. But I am doing all I can to stay positive, drum up more audience members and keep this thing afloat. Sometimes, all you can do is your best, and if we do fail, at least I can say I've given it my all. 

Monday, 2 September 2013

Never Give Up!

Sweater: Holly & Whyte, Jeans: AG Stevies, Boots: Anthro
 So the opening weekend of my play was not ideal. Oh, we got the acting side of things under control, all the props and practical things were sorted and we delivered a darn good show on all three of those nights. It's just a shame that only a handful of people showed up to each performance. Turns out the people in my hometown would rather stay at home and watch TV. The low turnout was upsetting for all of us, but I refuse to give up and cancel the rest of the shows. Because I have a cunning plan. 

Basically, my plan is to pre-sell as many tickets as I can for this weekend. Two of my friends have already agreed to do this for me; to pitch the show to their friends and colleagues and sell them tickets in advance. I literally made up sheets of tickets in photoshop based around the poster design, which my friends will print, cut up with scissors, and gently force people to buy. And then I will pay them in beer. I'm hoping to drum up even more ticket-selling friends tomorrow, so cross your fingers for me. 

Don't get me wrong. This weekend has been incredibly hard, but I have to keep trying. You see that look of fiery determination under all that hair? I will get us an audience, and I will make this show work. Let's go! Fight!