Monday, 6 January 2014

Past Tense


It seems I disappeared from the internet for a while. 
What happened was that in the early morning of the 23rd, my dad passed away. He'd been in a coma for a long time - that's why, if I've talked to you about my dad, I've always referred to him in the past tense. I thought, because I'd got used to him being gone, that it wouldn't be so bad when he left for good. Hah.  

Norway tends to grind to a halt during Christmas, so to put it bluntly, he had to be put on ice for almost two weeks. The funeral was today. We just got back from the airport, and I am relieved and exhausted. Going back to work tomorrow will be... interesting. But it's good  to get back into everyday routines and put it all behind us. I don't want to rattle on about it, it's all past tense now, just to say that this was why I haven't been in touch.

Oh, and happy new year. Seriously, it had better be a happy one, for all of us.   

10 comments:

  1. Gwen, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss....Sending you love and prayers during this difficult time to you and your family.

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    1. Sayaka, thank you so much, and for your lovely email, too. Every day, I feel better and stronger. Being able to tell you guys about it actually helped me too. I guess you know more than anyone what this kind of thing is like, when you think you're doing okay and then a memory just hits you like a slap, out of the blue.

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  2. Oh, Gwen. I am so so sorry. I am giving you a virtual hug right now. I don't have the words. You are definitely in my heart. I hope you can find peace. Please let me know if you need anything. My heart breaks for you.

    Jenni

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    1. Thank you so much, Jenni. Just knowing you're thinking about me helps a lot. Today was such a surreal day, working at the call centre in between having flashbacks of the coffin being lowered and thinking, "That was just yesterday". But I am already doing better, the funeral and memorial service were very cathartic. I wasn't able to sleep properly for several days, and now I can finally sleep again.

      The one thing that would be good would actually be if I could have your email address, since I wanted to contact you and tell you why I wasn't pursuing our planned skype date.

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  3. I'm so sorry, Gwen. That has to be incredibly tough. I hope that in spite of your grief you were able to spend some time reflecting on wonderful memories with him and the little legacies he'll leave behind. I'm definitely thinking of you (and will not hold your not posting holiday outfit photos against you.) :O). I always looks forward to your posts and smile when I read your comments, and I hope that you enjoy the same small sum of happiness when it comes to your blogging pals.That's at least something to smile about moving into 2014. Sending hugs your way. oxo

    Liz

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    1. Oh Liz, thank you. It's been a tough couple of weeks, I've been in a weird state fluttering between having a nice time on our Christmas holiday and being so upset I didn't know what to do with myself.
      We did end up sharing some wonderful stories about my dad at the wake afterwards, he did some crazy funny things in his weird, long life. My mum asked me to read his favourite poem at the funeral, "IF" by Kipling, and in a way that helped too, because I was giving him a last gift and doing something I'm pretty good at. One of his friends came too, and played a piece my dad had composed on the flute. It was like giving something of ourselves.
      And hon, that is exactly what I enjoy about blogging - the cross-commenting, the excitement when someone you like has written a new post, the exchange of ideas and little stories. All I ever want are comments and good posts to read. And that panther dress, but you know, we've got to be pragmatic, about these things! ;) (I have to joke around and be silly. It's the fuel that keeps me going.)

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  4. So sorry to hear about your dad. You are in my thoughts and I'm sending you a big hug.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kristin. It really means a lot to me. Every day I think a little more of the sadness is leaving me. :)

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  5. omg sorry to hear that, that is so sad :( i'm sending positive thoughts your way!! RIP to your dad

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    1. Thank you for the sweet message, hon. :)

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